Durjoy Datta SHE BROKE UP I DIDN'T! I Just Kissed Someone Else! Contents About the Author Also by Durjoy Datta Dedication Prologue. 'I did not know what to say. Lie? Who would lie about such a thing? Was she testing me? Who would test anyone like that?'Deb is absolutely crazily in love with. Download She Broke Up, I Didn't by Durjoy Datta PDF novel free. He did not believe he will get this level of a job with the high protocol.
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She Broken Up i Didn't - Free download as Word Doc .doc /.docx), PDF File .pdf ), Text File .txt) or It had been three days that I had broken up with Avantika. Download She Broke Up, I Didn't by Durjoy Datta PDF novel free. She Broke Up I Did aracer.mobi - search pdf books free download Free eBook and manual for. She Broke Up, I Didn't! is a novel that takes a nasty dig at relationships, love and 2 States by Chetan Bhagat I Too Had a Love Story by Ravinder Singh The 3.
Some women do this as well. It is grossly disrespectful and reeks of cowardice. Personally, I would not want to be bothered getting back an ex-lover who used this method to break up with me because I would lose respect for them. Remember that many people choose to take the path of least resistance and may not have been brought up to do the right thing.
If someone breaks up with you by text message or e-mail, ignore the message. This will work. Handling the break up is the first step in getting back your ex lover. Many of you who are reading this book have already been through the breakup stage and handled it terribly.
Many of you cried or pleaded or did drastic things. You may even have said a lot of hurtful things to your ex lover.
You can get past that. Breakups are emotionally charged and you can find people all the time who endured a nasty breakup and then later got married. I know two couples personally who went through this 20 years ago and are still married.
After the breakup, you are ready for the post breakup phone call. Chapter Two - The Post Breakup Phone Call Let me just say that the time that you have to wait before making the post breakup phone call will depend on how you stand right now. Have you just hung up the phone and left a message for your ex- lover?
Did the breakup just happen and you have not spoken to your ex? How did you behave during the breakup? Were you cool or did you throw something at him or her? Rule of thumb is to wait a month before the post breakup call. You do not want to call too soon as it reeks of desperation, loneliness, neediness and crawling. You do not want to wait too long because it gives him or her time to get used to being without you.
Remember that people are very routine oriented and that your ex-lover is missing you. Even if he or she found another boyfriend or girlfriend, they still miss the closeness they had with you.
It is natural to miss a routine.
You read in the last chapter an example of a perfect post breakup call. This ended up working well for Elaine and Bob as they later not only got back together, but actually tied the knot. And the more she pushed him, the more annoyed he became.
Take a calendar out and start marking off days when you are x-free. Each day that goes by that you do not call him or her is a triumph. It is getting you one step closer to your goal. You will be doing other things that get your mind off of your ex during this time that will help pass the time. Remember, you have to wait a month. After a month has gone by, you can place the call. Place it at a time when you know that he or she is at home.
Then you can act as Elaine did. Do not sound whiney. You have to sound nonchalant and confident - just as if you were calling a distant uncle or cousin and were just thinking about them. Get any sort of nervousness out of your voice. Then you have to do the crucial thing and hang up right away.
You have to go, after all, you are busy and have things to do. It was nice talking to him or her, but you need to get going. Talk soon. You will hang up and breathe a sigh of relief. Your ex will be intrigued by the call and flattered. He will feel good that you called because of the following reasons: You did not sound clingy or whiney and sound like you have your life together always attractive to a man or a woman You did not ask him for anything always a feeling of security for a man - most men break up with women who try to possess them.
You did not threaten or swear at him always a plus in any conversation You sounded like you had something else to do besides think about him. Most women who get dumped do so because they begin to revolve their lives around a guy. This becomes a turn off for any man or woman as people tend to be drawn to independent people and not needy cling-ons. This is a rough idea on how to handle the post-break up call.
Be light hearted and pleasant. Do not mention the breakup or the possibility of getting back together.
Do not start crying or sound otherwise needy in any way, shape or form. Be assertive and act like you are calling an uncle or cousin. Do not act like the sun rises and sets on this phone call. The post break-up phone call is one of several steps that you are going to have to take to get back your ex lover.
If done successfully, you are well on your way to step two. If it fails, you have to go back to the drawing board, wait another month and then make another post-post break up phone call of essentially the same material. It also means that you really meant something to them as only those we love we can truly hate. I hate to be a quitter, but this is not a good sign that you should continue trying to get back your ex-lover.
If any of the above occur, do yourself a favor and go back to square one and wait to make another call in a month. This is with the exception of the last item on the list, although with the way marriages last these days, you never know. Do not do the following during the phone call: Make up a phony excuse to see him or her, such as you need a book or an item returned.
If you really do need something from them, ask them to mail it to you. Ask to see them. Plead with them in any way, shape or form. You should also, after the breakup, resist any urge to send them flowers, a gift or anything material. You cannot download back their affection and are wasting your money. It will actually be creepy to them and more of a turn off. You are better off to donate to the homeless.
You need to place another call to your ex lover and ask them, in a nonchalant way, if they would like to meet you for coffee. Tell them that you are going to be in the neighborhood and it would be nice to see them again, just for coffee. Make sure that you put a time limit on this date. Say something like you are going to be in the neighborhood on some business and thought you could kill an hour with him or her for coffee.
The purpose of the coffee date is for your lover to see you again and rekindle his or her feelings for you. There are many reasons why relationships end. In most cases, they end because the romance has not yet had a chance to flourish. In some cases, the other person got frightened of the closeness that was developing. Many people think that once a relationship ends, it is over, finished forever.
There are so many cases where people have gotten back together after a split. In many of those cases, they realized that they wanted to continue the relationship after they saw each other again after a few weeks or even months apart.
The latest feelings of either anger or being frightened were surmounted by feelings that had surfaced when they first met. So you want to give them a call and ask them to do coffee.
Act like you are calling a friend to do coffee. You have to emphasize that you are going to be around, it would be nice to see them and that you only have time for coffee. Do not tell them what your business is. You might even get a call before then.
If you do, we will be discussing that behavior in the following chapter. Do not sound desperate to see them and do not be disappointed if they cannot make it. This also reeks of desperation. You invited him or her to coffee - you did not propose marriage. You are going to have to behave like you are going out with a friend. If he or she declines, note whether they give you a reason. No matter what, do not act crushed or upset. Be very casual about it. Continue with a bit more small talk and then tell them that you have to go.
You can try again in another month. The trick of the coffee date phone call is to act unaffected. Either your ex is dying to see you, is a bit curious to see how you are doing or is indifferent.
You want to make sure that you act as nonplussed as possible. Remember to play it cool, whether or not you yes agrees to the coffee date. If you want, I am going to Starbucks on Saturday morning. Maybe you can meet me there?
The reason for this is to give your ex a choice. They may be hemming and hawing about whether or not they want to see you but this puts it right on the line. So it may be yes, no or maybe. If you had a decent relationship, he or she will probably consent to the meeting.
Remember to make it on a morning for an hour. This is just like you are experiencing an online date. Get to the coffee shop a little late. Breeze in like you are in a hurry and have a ton of things to do. Do not be overly happy to see your ex, but do not seem gloomy.
You want to give off an air of confidence. Remember, confidence is key when it comes to getting back your ex. Always have a place to go and announce it when you arrive. Tell your ex that you are so glad to see them again and wish you had more time to talk, but at least you have time for coffee.
Do not pretend to have another date, nor should you announce that you do not have another date. It is none of his or her business what you have been doing with yourself since the two of you broke up, nor is it any of their business what you are doing now. Just as you would not spill your guts to a stranger, you should not spill them to your ex. The purpose of the post breakup coffee date is twofold. First, you want to show your ex that you have not stopped living because of him or her.
That you have gone on with your life and are feeling great. You are not mourning him or her. Even if you stay home every night crying in your pillow, you have to act like you are having the time of your life. Second, you want to give your ex the chance to see the new, confident you.
This is why you should look your best, but not in a contrived way. You do not want your ex to think that you are actively enticing him or her. You want them to see what they are missing and admire your confidence.
At one time, your ex lover loved you. There was something about you that they liked. Those qualities are still there, you just have to get him or her to see them again. You should be amiable at the coffee date and positive. Avoid any type of negative conversation as this will only make you appear unattractive to your ex.
You do not want to be the leader in any of these conversation topics. Your ex made the decision to stop seeing you. In most cases, it was because you were too needy and your ex felt trapped. You want to stop giving the impression that you are needy and avoid any type of needy conversation.
In addition to avoiding asking the following questions, you should also avoid revealing any information that implies you have been sitting around and waiting for your ex to come back. Avoid the temptation to say that you have not been out with anyone else. Nor should you lie and invent a string of lovers. Remember confidence is essential during this meeting.
If you have never been confident before, now is the time to start. It is one thing to act with confidence. It is another thing to actually be confident. And do not allow your ex to shake your confidence that you have in yourself. There are three ways that this type of meeting can turn out. Obviously, you want the first scenario to occur. This is why you must retain your confidence no matter what happens. Even if your ex tells you that he or she is going out with someone else, do not lose your cool.
Do not say that you, too, have been seeing someone. In fact, you can say that you are disappointed, without seeming overly affected, whiny or morose. You will naturally be nervous at this meeting and may prefer having a drink over coffee, but you should avoid liquor at all costs.
Liquor will release your inhibitions. When this happens, you may turn into a crying and begging drunk. This is sure to turn off your ex and make you feel awful - both physically and mentally the next day. This post breakup meeting is essential to show your ex that you are still around, still looking good and have not crawled into a hole and died because of his or her rejection.
At the end of the date, you should try to pick up on the cues that he or she set forth during the date as to how the relationship will go. The fact that your ex showed up for the coffee meeting is a good sign. They may be thinking the same as you. Take note as to how they are dressed. Did they, too, go out of their way to make themselves look nice? Pick up on cues, but make sure that your ex makes the first move.
Do not leave the date pleading for a second. You should let them talk. Tell them that it was nice seeing them again but avoid asking for another date or if the two of you can get back together. If he or she does not make the move to ask for a date, leave it alone. You can always try another phone call a few weeks from now, tell them that you enjoyed the coffee date and then ask to see them again.
If your ex has any inclination of getting back with you, then he or she will let you know, in some way, either during the meeting or after. Even if your ex does not make the move during the coffee date, they might give you a call a few days later.
They have a romantic relationship. One of them decides that the relationship is not for them. Can they be friends? But this seldom happens when the breakup first occurs. Two people can be friends, but not until all the dust has cleared. They ask for friendship and are adamant that they do not want anything more. Even at the expense of their own feelings, they take the second option and feign friendship, but what they really want is love.
Avoid the friend trap. It is not fair to you or your ex. Unless you are going to be jumping for joy over their new relationship, then you are not their friend.
Because a friend would not be brimming with jealousy, but would be happy for their friend and their new relationship. And what usually happens is that the entire friendship explodes when one of the parties gets another love interest, the ex gets all upset.
This upsets the person who thought that they had a friend, instead of a jealous ex lover hanging around. This not only causes bad feelings all around, but can also doom any type of future relationship that might have developed had it not been for the false friendship. Sure, you can be friends with your ex. After you are over them. But chances are that there will be little reason to be friends once you have moved on to other lovers.
But just how do you manage to get confidence? After all, your confidence has pretty much been shattered after your ex broke your heart. This is enough to take the wind right out of your sails. But that does not mean that it has to be that way for long. You need to find ways to regain your confidence.
One way that you can use to regain your confidence is to find something that you like to do, can do well, and do it. If you have ever wanted to take up a hobby, now is the time. No matter what type of hobby it is, it will do double duty. It will keep your mind off of the breakup and will also add to your self esteem. The more you get absorbed in your hobby, the better you will feel. The less you will think about the person who broke your heart and the more that you will think about you.
You cannot expect your ex lover to want to come back to you if you are a broken, defeated and miserable person. This is unattractive in anyone. People are attracted to others who exhibit confidence in themselves. You must have this type of confidence in order to get back with your ex, as well as for your own self esteem.
In addition to getting a hobby, start to pamper yourself. Listen to music that you like and sing along. Singing is actually an excellent exercise and can boost your energy level as well as endorphins. It can pull you out of a depression that is so easy to get into when you have been jilted. Rent or download movies that you like and watch them.
Treat yourself to entertainment that is happy and will get your mind off of your problems. Take a trip to the salon or barber and get a new style. Resist the urge to cut off your hair or dye it some odd color. Just take a beauty treatment. This will make you feel better. If money is tight, go to a beauty school for this treatment. They work under the supervision of licensed professionals and will give you the same treatment as you can expect in a salon.
Get a pedicure, manicure or a massage. This will make you feel good physically. You might want to spend a little money and get yourself a new outfit. This can also make you feel better about yourself. By pampering yourself and doing things that you like to do, including hobbies, you will regain confidence that you may have lost when the relationship ended.
Many people will latch on to another person when they lose the comfort of a steady relationship. While some rebound relationships do work out, you are better off to rejuvenate your confidence before you even consider embarking on another relationship. Even if you get over your ex, you should resist the urge to lose yourself in the arms of someone else.
Confidence stems from liking yourself and knowing what you want. You have probably heard this before many times, but you cannot expect anyone else to like you unless you like yourself.
Before you have the meeting with the ex, even before the phone call, be sure to do something for yourself to restore your confidence level. But that does not mean that your entire love life has to be a drama fest. There are two basic elements to love - mutual attraction and timing.
In order for the love affair to work, both of these have to be in synch. If there is no mutual attraction, it is very unlikely that there will be a love affair at all. While there are many stories of people who began as friends and then turned into lovers, you will find that there was an attraction between at least one of the parties when they met.
The timing may have been off and they became friends, usually due to other people in their lives. But there was an initial attraction. If the attraction is there, then the timing has to also be there.
This means that both of the parties have to be ready to fall in love. There should be nothing to stand in the way of the relationship. This means that all previous relationship matters should have been settled. With both of these elements in synch, the two people have an excellent chance of falling love and developing a lasting relationship. People do not want to be alone - we are social creatures. When we find someone who we like and who likes us in return, we go out of our way to make the relationship work.
Most people will make concessions in their own behavior to accommodate the relationship. While you do not want to compromise your principals for the relationship, you do not want to be unyielding.
Most people who are entering a relationship are flexible. As they get to know one another more, they begin to let out more of their true feelings and behavior. By this time, they are so used to one another that they may be willing to overlook things that might have turned them off of the relationship had they known at the beginning.
Without the elements of love, you cannot expect the relationship to be able to work. In some cases, however, the timing can be fixed. In some cases, the timing is off in the beginning of the relationship but things change later that make the relationship possible.
This is why the post breakup date is so important. It gave the other person to rethink their own personal timing and see if things have changed. Some people who break up get back months or even years later after the timing is corrected. This does not mean that you should wait for someone to change their minds and not get on with your life, but it does mean that there are times when two people who broke up because the timing for the relationship was not right, get back together when the timing issue corrects itself.
While you do not want to wait around forever for someone to decide to come back to you, nor feign friendship when you want romance, by remaining on friendly terms with your ex, you may give the relationship another chance if the timing issues work out.
There is no big mystery when it comes to the elements of love. It is all about timing and mutual attraction. If the mutual attraction was there to begin with, and your lover left because he or she said they were not ready for a relationship, still had issues with a past lover or just did not feel like they wanted to settle down, you have hope for a relationship with them in the future if the timing issue straightens itself out.
Chapter Eight - Behavior To Avoid While it is natural for you to want to know everything that your ex is doing as your heart is breaking, or for you to want to call him or her and try to talk to them, you do not want to pester your ex lover to the point where they feel you are threatening or stalking. Nor do you want to plead and beg for their love as this will only make things worse in their eyes. The following are examples of behavior to avoid: Repeated phone calls This is easy to do.
You call up and have a conversation with them that is not satisfactory and end up hanging up.
It had been three days that I had moved out of that room. It had been three days that I had broken up with Avantika. I read a page from my old dairy from three years back, where I used to recount every important day of my life.
The first time1I met Avbantika was one of them. There were people in that incident who were no longer in my life. Vernita- My best friend, three years back. They were not a part of my life now.
Not anymore Avantika was. She will always be. I guess. September Today was aday when I spent most of my life with my eyes and mouth wide open. Tanmays sister had just landed and lately Vernita and she had become bitching partners.
I just have to drop an assignment, Deb. Vernita said as she tagged me along to see her guy, Tanmay. I thought all your assignment are done at his place. I side, talking a dig at her malleable morals. She was pretty bugged with my constant jibes on her malleable morals by the time we reached Greater Kailash. Good looks ran in the family, Tanmay was one of the better looking gys,that made guys who look like me, seem like douche bags. And she is looking forward to meet you.