The baby book william sears

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The Baby Book William Sears

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin The Baby Book by William Sears The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer The Womanly Art. The Baby Book - available in-store and online! America's bestselling "baby bible" - an encyclopedic guide to the first two years of your baby's. The Baby Book Dr. William Sears and his wife Martha share with you their experience in parenting eight children and caring for thousands of.

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Sears , nor his reputation as the man who coined the term " attachment parenting ".

She could not have known the amount of upheaval and sleepless nights it would cause us. The moment we opened this book, we began to feel horrible about ourselves. I'm fairly certain that this was not the intention of the Dr.

Sears and his wife when they wrote The Baby Book , either. I will grudgingly admit that our own insecurity as parents is our unresolved issue, not theirs. But, for vast sections, the tone and style of The Baby Book is written from an emotional and intuitive standpoint, and the language stirs powerful emotions in the reader.

Attachment parenting is a style of raising children that emphasizes intense emotional nurturing. It stands in stark contrast to many of the commandments fostered by physicians of the 19th and 20th Centuries. Attachment parenting features closeness to your baby at all times: co-sleeping, sling transport and skin-to-skin time. It recommends quick responses to crying and obeying intuitive parenting instincts. The first chapter of The Baby Book is about attachment parenting and the rest of the book is infused with it.

I like the idea of attachment parenting. So does the wife. So does the Royal University Hospital maternity department where we had our baby, which recently abolished its nursery so that parents could spend the first days of their child's life in close contact.

While we had never previously read anything by Dr. William Sears, attachment parenting has inflitrated the institutions surrounding birth. We really wanted to be attachment parents.

We succeeded at first. Then, two and a half months after our baby was born, the wife had to get a job. The details of this decision I chronicled in this post. Basically, we decided that she could support us monetarily while I couldn't. With that, she spent less time with our baby. Her body couldn't keep up with baby's increasing breastmilk demands, so formula began to creep into Kara's diet. Then, a little past the four-month mark, Kara began to squirm, kick and scratch us in her sleep.

We woke each other constantly. I was tired, Kara was cranky and Suzi was hopelessly exhausted with night waking, nursing and working.

Something had to change. Then one day when I was at the end of my rope and Kara was crying for seemingly no reason, I obeyed an intuitive parenting instinct and put her alone in her crib in a dark room.

Five minutes of fussing later, she was asleep. I was shocked. Then I tried it again in the afternoon and hallelujiah, she slept again! I researched. I was ashamed because I knew that "cry-it-out" was not "in" and I was certain Suzi would disapprove. I secretly continued to practice Dr. Ferber's method for a week before I broke down and told her. After many apologies, we both decided Dr. Ferber knew his shit. Kara slept, I slept, Suzi slept, we were all sleeping, we were all happy for a month.

As it stood, we tried contemporary parenting and it simply clashed with modern life. We couldn't sustain it and keep ourselves fed and rested at the same time. So food and sleep won and Kara actually seemed more-rested for it. Then this damn book appeared. Apparently, we were causing permanent damage to our little girl.

Suzi should have obeyed those instincts and come running with her boob outstretched. The worst part was that we had already done the damage: Kara was Ferberized and broken forever. What followed was several weeks of guilty vigilance on Suzi's part.

She would wake with every tiny night-cry and I started having midnight arguments with her about running to the baby's rescue.

Exhaustion slipped back into our lives. We both knew what the book had done, knew that we were good parents and had a wonderful and unbroken baby, and yet the book continued to haunt us silently from its place at my bedside table. This is what The Baby Book did for us and Eris-help-me, we're still recovering. For this disservice alone, I am inclined to follow my emotional and intuitive instinct to tell the Dr.

Sears that he can shove copies of his book up the arses of his huge and supposedly-perfect family. But that's not exactly fair. This reaction is based on my own subjective experience and surely it won't be the same for every parent. As I mentioned before, the tone of the book is from an intuitive standpoint. It is unsourced. It is scientific only in that a respected pediatrician and his registered-nurse wife authored it.

I can't begrudge that, however: it's a parenting book and no parent needs to read a scientific article to learn how to take care of their baby. Scientific writing is boring writing, so not sourcing their claims is just fine. What maybe isn't fine is this: in the opening chapter the authors actually admit that their advice on parenting is not scientific.

The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two

They say that their parenting style is based only on their subjective experience of dealing with parents of children whom they considered to be "good". Incidentally, William Sears has indeed published articles with actual sources independent of The Baby Book.

I haven't read them, nor do I really want to after my experiences with his other writing, but I did find this article slamming his views on cry-it-out to be very interesting. The subjective tone of the authors prevails everywhere in the book. Allow me to paraphrase a sidebar which appears in their section on baby's sleep habits: There once were two parents who were offered a cry-it-out book to help their baby sleep.

They tried it and their baby screamed all night. They were heartbroken and sad and as a result of this method they lost their sympathetic connection to their baby's cries. His crying didn't affect them anymore and they stopped caring for him and took increasingly long vacations away from him. The End. Please allow me this uncharacteristic slip into leet: lolololololololstfu!!!! That's a very accurate paraphrase of their story and I challenge anybody to find it in The Baby Book and tell me I haven't captured the spirit of it.

It's not an all-or-nothing deal. This book will be a radical departure from the "solutions" offered by other mass market parenting tomes. It posits a great deal of what seems like "duh" advice such as hold and rock your baby when he or she is crying. But let's face it: Some of the advice is truly life-altering.

For me it was the sidebar about GERD infant reflux that explained why my tiny newborn was crying like the damned after being put down after feeding. This book is filled with a lot of wonderful, simple ideas that will help you stay sane in the trenches. Very reassuring. These people had a lot of babies and they learned what really worked. They make a lot of claims about the beneficial effects of AP-style parenting and though they do not back these claims up with a great deal of cited research my own anecdotal experience bears out their claims.

I've got a very happy, healthy, clever and well-adjusted 7 year-old and another baby on the way. Happy parenting! Oct 22, Elyssa rated it it was ok Shelves: Thankfully, I did not download this. I read most of it at my sister-in-law's house.

Sears provides some good practical advice. I will give him credit in the form of 2 stars for that. A huge part of the book promotes attachment parenting with little proof of its effectiveness and the book is easier to digest if you agree with him. My big problem is that his theories are very mother-centered, so the father or partner are relegated to support the mother as she is caring for the infant, i. Personally, I found this method to be sexist, but I don't share the belief that mothers should be the primary parent.

The Baby Book, Revised Edition by William Sears | Hachette Book Group

I think fathers are often left out and not given the opportunity to be active parents and that equally-shared parenting is the goal. I don't recommend this book unless the parents are clear that they want to subscribe to his theories and that the mother is ready to commit fully to the primary role of being a parent and the other parent is okay with taking a secondary role.

View all 4 comments. May 14, Kimberly rated it did not like it Recommends it for: NO ONE. I wish I could give this book less stars. Aside from the Sears family's love of soy, I think they do a great injustice to society. The expectations they put on women to do things exactly the way they did is insane. People need to tak ethis book with a grain of salt before it make sthem crazy, insecure and unhappy. View 1 comment. Oct 16, Janey rated it it was amazing Shelves: I am not a fan of "Babywise" or "What to Expect When This is my go-to baby book.

It has, literally, everything you need to know. Time and time again I'd check the awesome table of contents and there was the answer to my question or challenge. I call it my baby bible.

As simple as this sounds, there are many parents who have been told to let their babies cry it out, for the reason that they must not reward "bad" behavior.

But newborns don't misbehave; they just communicate the only way nature allows them to. Imagine how you would feel if you were completely uncoordinated -- unable to do anything for yourself -- and your cries for help went unheeded. A baby whose cries are not answered does not become a "good" baby though he may become quiet ; he does become a discouraged baby.

He learns the one thing you don't want him to: I did not want to let my baby cry it out when he was obviously trying to tell me something. I did enjoy the carrying part, so next child I will look again for a more comfortable carrier. Didn't quite work for my new-mom-anxiety at every little sound, worried that he was waking up for another three hours. Hopefully, I'll be more relaxed next time. More quotes: I think I was the one being spoiled by attachment parenting and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Your babies are only babies for a short time. Apr 02, Inder rated it really liked it Shelves: We love this book and refer back to it often.

But then, we are generally unapologetic co-sleeping baby-wearers. My hippy parents and their friends practiced attachment parenting before the term "attachment parenting" was coined. I spent my early years in a commune where small babies slept with their parents, were never left to "cry it out" in a crib down the hall, and spent most of their time in someone's arms.

This approach may not be for everyone, but because I was raised this way, it feels na We love this book and refer back to it often. This approach may not be for everyone, but because I was raised this way, it feels natural and right to me.

So, stepping away from the politics of child-rearing for a second, what I love about Dr. Sears is not that he converted me to his parenting method, but that his books are supportive of and elaborate on my existing parenting philosophy. I take some aspects of his methodology with a grain of salt, naturally, but what a relief to read a book that actually recommends co-sleeping for a change!

Of course, if you want to get your baby to sleep through the night in a crib in their nursery and there's nothing wrong with that , this is not the book for you! View all 6 comments. Feb 14, Lauren rated it liked it Shelves: I avoided Dr. Sears while I was pregnant. Most everyone who tend towards the same lifestyle choices we make seemed to be fans, but there was something that just struck me wrong, so I spent time with other books: And then we had our little one and I found myself spending virtually every minute of those early days nursing, he was always in our arms, and he was sleeping in a bassinet in our room rathe I avoided Dr.

And then we had our little one and I found myself spending virtually every minute of those early days nursing, he was always in our arms, and he was sleeping in a bassinet in our room rather than the nursery we had spent so much time making perfect for him. All of a sudden we found ourselves doing attachment parenting without having read the books.

So now I'm reading some of the books. I read Dr. And I go back and forth on how much I like them. I generally agree with AP principles for our specific family, not saying it's the right solution for everyone. And these books actually do make me feel better about some of things we're doing that are less traditional.

Sears is making a case that research shows AP is best. Yet, his writing doesn't cite research in the way that makes it easy to track down studies, and much of his writing is anecdotal. When you're tired and the baby doesn't want to sleep in the crib, but the baby does sleep well in your bed, maybe you don't need the best research in the world to make you feel better about your decision.

But for those on the fence, it'd be nice if he really offered a little more back up. But primarily, I have a hard time aligning my feminist personality with the books. He clearly believes that only mother knows best.

If so, really shouldn't Martha have lead billing on the books? To be clear, he does highly recommend an involved father, but you get the sense throughout the book that you're a really lucky mom if you have that, and the best you can hope for is someone who will occasionally rub your back while you nurse.

And really, based on everyone in my circle, the fathers are really involved. They want to be just as the moms want to be. And there are times that the father knows more than the mother. I really like it that way. I love that my son will be raised by two parents who are both very involved that have different areas of strength to draw from.

I'm also particularly bothered by Dr. Sears' discussion of working mothers. He talks about how some moms have to work for economic reasons, and hints that there might be other reasons, but I finished the working mom section feeling like I'm not as devoted to motherhood as I should be. When in reality, going to work is what gives me the space and perspective to be fully on for the entire evening and lunch!

I just don't think he has a really good perspective on the complexities of identities for mothers, and describes the world through a black-white lens. I was talking to another mom at our daycare about it and I was complaining that he only seems to think women work when they need to.

She pointed out that some of us need to, just for reasons beyond financial. If he even put it that way, I'd feel a lot better. So I'm all over the map on this one. I basically agree with the general themes and ideas, though I think the research is questionable and find the books to be difficult as a feminist. However, I know I'll keep this book around and will continue to refer to it, so it clearly has value for my parenting style. If you feel like you have a good basic understanding of babies from other books, but want to know more about AP, I'd recommend his book focused on Attachment Parenting rather than this one.

This does go into a little more depth in some of those ideas, but most of the additional length came from entirely different sections on things like development which if you're like me, you have a shelf of those books to start with.

Mar 30, Marie Anderson rated it really liked it. This book has been a great resource book for my first year as a mom. I've used it mainly as a reference book when I have a specific topic I want to look up. It really does a good job of covering the main areas and providing me with the information I'm looking for.

I've really appreciated the developmental section which includes ideas on how to play with your child at each stage and what some of their favorite games and activities will be.

This has been so helpful for me and I have received some This book has been a great resource book for my first year as a mom. This has been so helpful for me and I have received some great ideas on how to interact with Lauren in a way that will be helpful for her development. One note about the book - Dr. Sears believes in attachment based parenting and thus the book is obviously focused this way, encouraging things like baby wearing, cosleeping, breastfeeding etc.

May 21, Amy rated it really liked it Shelves: Lots of good information. The information is NOT presented in a way that should make anyone feel bad about that caregiving. Nor is "my way is the only and right way" preached or expected. Attachment parenting is the foundation of the book and if you are not comfortable with this kind of parenting, then perhaps this isn't a great book for you to read, how Lots of good information.

Attachment parenting is the foundation of the book and if you are not comfortable with this kind of parenting, then perhaps this isn't a great book for you to read, however, there is alot of good information not related to parenting style.

I happen to be this attachment kind of parent, so the ideas weren't "out there" for me. I initially decided to check this book out after some media coverage of attachment parenting gave a name to what I was already doing.

I am a full time, working mom and this is what works for our family. After reading this book, I felt empowered to continue to do what we think is best for our child, regardless of what the norm of this country is. Anyway, to each their own. Jan 16, Holly rated it really liked it Recommends it for: When I first read The Baby Book -- an earlier edition, when my son was a newborn in -- I found it incredibly reassuring.

At last, someone who could provide logical reasons that everything I was doing for example, refusing to just ignore it when my baby cried was RIGHT! I continued to use it as a general medical reference long past the time my younger child turned 2.

Sears assumes that parents have a clue, and his advice about handling various illnesses is a lot more helpful than "call you When I first read The Baby Book -- an earlier edition, when my son was a newborn in -- I found it incredibly reassuring. Sears assumes that parents have a clue, and his advice about handling various illnesses is a lot more helpful than "call your doctor" which seems to be what the AAP book gives as the answer to every question on which I've ever consulted it.

Later, I discovered that many of my mom-friends hated TBB for what they considered a judgmental tone and for rampant sexism.

The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two

In retrospect, I see their point. But still, I think this is overall the best baby-care book out there. I actually liked the older edition better than this one, which is a bit more "slick". The pull-quotes and bullet-point lists are present in the earlier one but are taken to something of a ridiculous extreme in this one. But most of the actual information is the same, so it's not a huge practical difference. Nov 09, Joni Cochrane added it.

I wonder if anyone else noticed that the negative comments about this book were hostile and aggrivated. I used to be like that, before treatment and counseling. I was a "cry it out baby". This book changed my life. It is full of scientifically based information on what babies need most. My daughter has been on antibiotics two times in her eleven years, strep throat and swimmers ear.

She is self-confident and fun. She is a joy to be around.

I didn't have to do anything but follow my instincts and I wonder if anyone else noticed that the negative comments about this book were hostile and aggrivated. I didn't have to do anything but follow my instincts and ignore the negativity of parents who are against attachment parenting.

I feel these parents are just mad because they feel attacked by the views presented. Sears and company, merely make suggestions and talk about baby psychology.

Read any Human Growth and Development text book if you doubt his findings to seek the relevance and find the truth.

Oct 05, Gretchen Decker rated it it was ok. This book is great from the practical standpoint of figuring out how and when to take your baby's temperature or what the signs of an ear infection are, but don't get me started on parenting advice given by pedeatricians and based on their own personal experiences.

The Sears corporation is a big proponent of what they call "attachment parenting," which if you read before your baby is born makes you think everything will be very smooth and wonderful if you just "learn to read your babies cues," w This book is great from the practical standpoint of figuring out how and when to take your baby's temperature or what the signs of an ear infection are, but don't get me started on parenting advice given by pedeatricians and based on their own personal experiences.

The Sears corporation is a big proponent of what they call "attachment parenting," which if you read before your baby is born makes you think everything will be very smooth and wonderful if you just "learn to read your babies cues," wear a sling, and rock your baby to sleep.

Be warned it's a lot harder to learn your babies cues, and something the Sears won't tell you is that sometimes your baby doesn't want to be held.

When you decide on a parenting style that works for you remember that it's a personal, often cultural, decision. Also, if you find yourself freaking out about your parenting style remember that if you're reading books on parenting you are at least thinking about how to parent, which means your baby will most likely benefit from you being self-aware.

Jun 20, Shannon rated it really liked it. While some of the things in this book are a bit over the top as in Dr. Sears' other books, I really like his approach that parenting should be about the baby and not about fitting the baby into your schedule as a parent.

This may be because I'm happy to find someone actually write in print that if Sarah naps better on me and I need a nap too, it's perfectly fine to let her sleep on me rather than in her cradle where she will awaken in approximately 5. But as a parent the overall tone t While some of the things in this book are a bit over the top as in Dr. Sep 06, Mariana rated it it was ok.

Had to ban this book from my household as it was only pushing me toward PPD with its impossible expectations towards young mothers to become round the clock slaves to their babies.

I'm giving it two stars as I assume that some of its content was groundbreaking and useful 20 years ago, when formula was promoted as the better nourishment and crying-it-out was standard, but I don't see what the book could provide to any of today's educated women except guilt.

I do respect some aspects of attachment Had to ban this book from my household as it was only pushing me toward PPD with its impossible expectations towards young mothers to become round the clock slaves to their babies.

I do respect some aspects of attachment parenting baby wearing worked wonders but cannot in clean conscience endorse a book that asks mothers to ignore their most basic needs and desires in order to raise a child, based on wildly unscientific claims.

Jan 16, Irina Rizaeva rated it it was amazing. Excellent guide to parenthood. If only it was all this easy in real life Mar 15, Alisha rated it did not like it. I read this book while expecting my first son and put it's theories to the test. Short story: I was exhausted and cranky and so was my son. Now that I have 3 children and I'm feeling well rested, I can't believe what terrible advice he gives!! The book could be renamed "Forgetting Yourself: Following this book is not good for the mother, baby, or family.

Jun 22, Einar Nielsen added it. This book has a ton of useful tips for baby care, it is also massively sexist! Jun 06, Christopher rated it liked it Shelves: It seems the consensus pick for the modern Dr.

Spock is Dr. There's a lot of good stuff here, and I largely agree with his philosophy, although I don't download into everything he promotes. Much of this book's material is available online on his website, last time I checked, so one doesn't even have to own the book, necessarily. Sears focuses on nurturing the newborn.

The first big thesis of this book is establishing a physical bond with the baby, which is essential for any new parent. Sears specifically promotes baby-wearing--slings, baby carriers and the like--which I approve of in theory, although my wife and I never really adopted it in practice.

The baby-wearing pitch does get kind of preachy after a while, too. The book's second big thesis is co-sleeping, which my wife and I wanted to do even before downloading the book. We slept with our daughter from day one, with absolutely no regrets.

We thought it was very important to have the baby close to us so we could feed her and change her quickly, and calm her down right away, when needed. To us, putting our baby in a separate room would have literally put a distance between her and us, and it just felt wrong--at least to us.

Probably the book's third big thesis encourages parents not to let babies 'cry it out,' which I also strongly agree with. It's an instinct to me, so I can't justify it on an intellectual level. I felt it was my mission to solve what made our daughter cry, and do so as quickly as possible--and I still stand by that feeling. I thought it wouldn't be fair to stand by and let our baby cry in the belief that it's good for her in the long run.

It sure doesn't seem good in the short run, that's clear enough to me. For toddlers, 'crying it out' becomes an open question, but for babies, I have no tolerance for it. I wish Dr. Sears was stronger at addressing common situations with newborns, such as the reasons why babies cry and providing a list of priorities in helping to calm crying babies--information I craved as a new parent. And in the hospital, I was afraid of being clumsy with my newborn, so I wanted a section on different ways to hold the baby, but there's nothing like that here.

Those two topics seemed academic to me, so I think the book suffers from their under-coverage. There were other fairly common issues, such as colic, unexplained cries and pain management, that we were trying to solve with our newborn but could not find fully addressed here. Side note: Just try to find a baby book that will honestly tell you the doctor-recommended dose of Tylenol to give an infant--I'd bet they all defer you to your pediatrician due to the variety of dosage possibilities.

Try calling your pediatrician about an infant Tylenol dose at two o'clock in the morning and see how that goes. I think the FDA needs to better standardize how specific pain medicines are dosed, so there's no confusion, especially with children. It was at that point I realized there's probably no such thing as a one-stop-shop baby book.

Sears is a good book by itself, but it's better when paired with another good baby book. Maybe Dr. Spock couldn't be all wrong after all these years. Apr 09, Jessica rated it it was ok. I did read it cover to cover, and that took me several months to do. It probably wasn't necessary as the second half of the book was mostly reference-y, but it was also really the only quality part of the book.

The first half of the book was mostly Dr. Sears' opinions on various parenting topics. Whether I agree or disagree with his opinions, I was infuriated by the way he presented them.

He said he had done 'research', but then would proceed to give some anecdote about a mother in his office or about his own children as the 'proof' of his research. He repeatedly supported his opinions with his experience as a parent.